Matthew Whitaker's speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Humorous student speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Matthew Whitaker

Matthew Whitaker | Photograph by Jim Harrison

 

In his Ivy Oration, one of two humorous student speeches given on Class Day, Matthew Whitaker ’12 joked that John Harvard would be proud a yard named for him has become an international tourist destination, and pondered  how he would feel if he were to come back to life and realize he had become an international brand name. Using the “The man. The myth. The legend” as an example, Whitaker urged his peers to look up to those who not only achieve, but contribute: “I hope that we will continue to not only remember those who achieved, but those who contributed. So, fellow classmates, when you take your last steps around this great yard, please take a moment to stop at the John Harvard statue. And before you unzip your pants to pee on that statue one last time, say, “Thank you, John Harvard. Thank you.”

Related topics

You might also like

Citing improper procedure, a district judge postponed the government’s efforts to cap student visas at four years.

A roundup of University news from the summer of 2026

After a historic 2025-26 season, athletes eye NCAA championships.

Most popular

A former Harvard College writing tutor changes her mind on LLMs.

How Your Social Circle Affects Your Microbiome and Health

The microbiome may be socially exchanged, modulating both health and metabolism.

Another opening-day win brings a quarterback question. 

Explore More From Current Issue

A flooded office scene with computers, a woman working, and a pink sunset backdrop.

A College student’s attempt to recapture the romanticism of the workplace.

Colorful cartoon animals, including dogs, cows, rabbits, and a fence, on a pink background.

Inseparable cows, big dogs fostering a tiny kitten, and a show beagle’s second act

Three young women posed side by side against red background.

The 2026-2027 Ledecky and Summer Undergraduate Fellows