Matthew Whitaker's speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Humorous student speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Matthew Whitaker

Matthew Whitaker | Photograph by Jim Harrison

 

In his Ivy Oration, one of two humorous student speeches given on Class Day, Matthew Whitaker ’12 joked that John Harvard would be proud a yard named for him has become an international tourist destination, and pondered  how he would feel if he were to come back to life and realize he had become an international brand name. Using the “The man. The myth. The legend” as an example, Whitaker urged his peers to look up to those who not only achieve, but contribute: “I hope that we will continue to not only remember those who achieved, but those who contributed. So, fellow classmates, when you take your last steps around this great yard, please take a moment to stop at the John Harvard statue. And before you unzip your pants to pee on that statue one last time, say, “Thank you, John Harvard. Thank you.”

Related topics

You might also like

A new federal rule sparks uncertainty for graduate students.

A summer program helps students from under-resourced high schools close a hidden academic gap.

Ronny Chieng Tells Harvard to ‘Destroy AI’ as Graduates Cheer

The comedian and The Daily Show host gave the keynote address for Class Day 2026.

Most popular

In her memoir All That's Unseen, Emilee Hackney explores religion, friendship, and home.

Tomiko Brown-Nagin has been named dean of Stanford’s Graduate School of Education.

Sheila Jasanoff has spent her career studying how societies produce knowledge, evaluate expertise, and make decisions about technology.

Explore More From Current Issue

Star-filled night sky with the Milky Way arching over a rocky silhouette.

There’s a growing movement to curb light pollution. It starts on your front porch.

Two figures stand before a large, colorful pixelated face against a yellow background.

Harvard scientists identify hundreds of genes under selective pressure.

Racing driver gives a thumbs up from inside a car, wearing a helmet and safety gear.

Harvard graduate and NASCAR racer Patrick Staropoli on pedals, attention, and fearlessness.