Matthew Whitaker's speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Humorous student speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Matthew Whitaker

 

In his Ivy Oration, one of two humorous student speeches given on Class Day, Matthew Whitaker ’12 joked that John Harvard would be proud a yard named for him has become an international tourist destination, and pondered  how he would feel if he were to come back to life and realize he had become an international brand name. Using the “The man. The myth. The legend” as an example, Whitaker urged his peers to look up to those who not only achieve, but contribute: “I hope that we will continue to not only remember those who achieved, but those who contributed. So, fellow classmates, when you take your last steps around this great yard, please take a moment to stop at the John Harvard statue. And before you unzip your pants to pee on that statue one last time, say, “Thank you, John Harvard. Thank you.”

Related topics

You might also like

Phi Beta Kappa Speakers Call Out a ‘Deeply Troubling’ Moment

Former Harvard President Lawrence Bacow and poet Meghan O’Rourke urge graduates to focus on character and “radical attention.”

‘Effort Still Matters’ in AI Age, Garber Tells Harvard Graduates

In his Baccalaureate address, the University president urged a mindful—yet open—approach to the technology.

Meet Harvard’s 2026 Student Commencement Speakers

Two undergraduates and a Ph.D. candidate will address the graduating class on May 28.

Most popular

Ronny Chieng Tells Harvard to ‘Destroy AI’ as Graduates Cheer

The comedian and The Daily Show host gave the keynote address for Class Day 2026.

Harvard Confers Five Honorary Degrees at the 2026 Commencement

O’Brien joins journalists, a scholar of AI, and a Broadway star.

Harvard 2026 Commencement Photo Album

A gallery of photographs from the Commencement celebration for the class of 2026

Explore More From Current Issue

A woman with long hair leans on a table, looking out a large window with rain-streaked glass.

A Harvard Economist Probes the Affordable Housing Crisis

From understanding gender pay gaps to the housing crisis, Rebecca Diamond’s research aims to improve lives.

Bronze statues of three historical figures under a stylized tree in a softly lit space.

The Costly Choice Native Americans Faced

How the Revolution reshaped indigenous New England

White House and Harvard University buildings split diagonally with contrasting colors.

Harvard Weathers a Year of Turmoil

The federal government has launched unprecedented actions against the University. Here’s a guide.