Matthew Whitaker's speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Humorous student speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Matthew Whitaker

 

In his Ivy Oration, one of two humorous student speeches given on Class Day, Matthew Whitaker ’12 joked that John Harvard would be proud a yard named for him has become an international tourist destination, and pondered  how he would feel if he were to come back to life and realize he had become an international brand name. Using the “The man. The myth. The legend” as an example, Whitaker urged his peers to look up to those who not only achieve, but contribute: “I hope that we will continue to not only remember those who achieved, but those who contributed. So, fellow classmates, when you take your last steps around this great yard, please take a moment to stop at the John Harvard statue. And before you unzip your pants to pee on that statue one last time, say, “Thank you, John Harvard. Thank you.”

Related topics

You might also like

A Cap on A’s at Harvard? Students and Faculty Raise Concerns at Town Hall

Dozens debate the grade inflation proposal that faculty will discuss next week.

Government Seeks More Harvard Admissions Data

Justice Department says it needs proof that Harvard is complying with a 2023 court ruling.

Harvard’s Productivity Trap

What happened to doing things for the sake of enjoyment?

Most popular

Harvard Faculty Approve a Cap on A Grades

Reforms to reduce grade inflation will take effect in the fall of 2027.

Harvard Alumni and Faculty Win Six Pulitzer Prizes

Winners include Jill Lepore, Bess Wohl, Pablo Torre, and Hannah Natanson.

Your Harvard 2026 Commencement Week Guide

College reunions and Alumni Day will take place the following week

Explore More From Current Issue

Portrait of a man with white hair, wearing a black coat, arms crossed, thoughtful expression.

The Framer Who Refused to Sign the Constitution

Harvard’s Elbridge Gerry helped draft the U.S. Constitution, but worried it might create a new monarch.

Woman with long hair, smiling, wearing a black sweater, in a textured beige background.

For This Poet, AI is a Writing Partner

Sasha Stiles trained a chatbot on her manuscripts. Now, her poems rewrite themselves.

Woman in historical dress standing in front of green foliage, smiling brightly.

This Harvard Graduate Brings Women of the Revolution to Life

Historical reenactor Lauren Shear reveals tricks of the trade for playing Tory loyalists, Revolutionary poets, and more.