Matthew Whitaker's speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Humorous student speech at Harvard College Class Day 2012

Matthew Whitaker

 

In his Ivy Oration, one of two humorous student speeches given on Class Day, Matthew Whitaker ’12 joked that John Harvard would be proud a yard named for him has become an international tourist destination, and pondered  how he would feel if he were to come back to life and realize he had become an international brand name. Using the “The man. The myth. The legend” as an example, Whitaker urged his peers to look up to those who not only achieve, but contribute: “I hope that we will continue to not only remember those who achieved, but those who contributed. So, fellow classmates, when you take your last steps around this great yard, please take a moment to stop at the John Harvard statue. And before you unzip your pants to pee on that statue one last time, say, “Thank you, John Harvard. Thank you.”

Related topics

You might also like

A Cap on A’s at Harvard? Students and Faculty Raise Concerns at Town Hall

Dozens debate the grade inflation proposal that faculty will discuss next week.

Government Seeks More Harvard Admissions Data

Justice Department says it needs proof that Harvard is complying with a 2023 court ruling.

Harvard’s Productivity Trap

What happened to doing things for the sake of enjoyment?

Most popular

AI Outperforms Doctors in Emergency Room Tasks, New Harvard Study Shows

Researchers say the technology could help physicians with triage, diagnosis.

Ask a Harvard Professor with Rebecca Henderson

How to reform capitalism to confront climate change and extreme inequality, with economist and McArthur University Professor Rebecca Henderson

Why Is Silicon Valley Turning Conservative?

At the Harvard Kennedy School, Van Jones analyzes how Democrats lost the tech industry’s vote.

Explore More From Current Issue

Three joyful graduates in caps and gowns celebrate together outdoors.

Commencement Week Events

Harvard Commencement Events 2026

Portrait of a man with white hair, wearing a black coat, arms crossed, thoughtful expression.

The Framer Who Refused to Sign the Constitution

Harvard’s Elbridge Gerry helped draft the U.S. Constitution, but worried it might create a new monarch.

Colorful illustrated map of Colonial Cambridge and the Harvard College campus featuring buildings of the campus, houses, Cambridge Common, and the Charles River

250 Years Ago, Harvard Was Home to a Revolution

A look at the sights, sounds, and characters that put the University on the frontlines of history