Disagreeing Well

Harvard debater Bo Seo writes about productive differences of opinion.

From left, Megan Moten, Caress Russell, and Keisha Coleman practice debate, and civil discourse, at Wiley College.

Photograph by Donna McWilliam/Associated Press Images

In a contentious, polarized era, how does one make room for generous listening and civic discourse? Bo Seo ’17, J.D. ’24, a champion debater and former coach for the Harvard College Debating Union, points to a path forward in his memoir-cum-guidebook, Good Arguments: How Debate Teaches Us to Listen and Be Heard (Penguin Press, $28). From the introduction:

This book, the sum of a short lifetime’s reflection, is about two forms of debate.

One is competitive debate, a formal game in which rival sides argue their case on an assigned topic before an impartial adjudicator. The origins of this contest stretch back to antiquity—to ancient Greek rhetorical education, to early Buddhist religious practice—and its evolution is intertwined with the development of parliamentary democracy. Today, competitive debate thrives in high schools and universities across the world and counts a disproportionate number of former presidents and prime ministers, Supreme Court justices, captains of industry, prize-winning journalists, prominent artists, and civil society leaders as alums. The activity is dead easy but impossible to master. For this reason, it makes room for children and presidential candidates. (What does this say about each?)

The other form of debate is the everyday disagreements we encounter in our lives. Few people join a debate team but everyone argues, in some form, most days. Since we disagree not only about the way things ought to be but also about the way things are, the mere act of perceiving can spark conflict. In the resulting arguments, we seek to convince others, find solutions, test our beliefs, and defend our pride. We judge, correctly, that our personal, professional, and political interests rest on our ability not only to win these arguments but to prevail in the right way.

My argument is that competitive debate can teach us how to disagree better in our everyday lives. Disagreeing well can mean many things—getting one’s way, reducing future conflict, preserving the relationship with one’s opponent—and this book will have something to say about each of these. However, I define the aim in more modest terms: we should disagree in such a way that the outcome of having the disagreement is better than not having it at all.

You might also like

Must-Read Harvard Books Winter 2025

From aphorisms to art heists to democracy’s necessary conditions 

The Artist Edward Gorey—and Pets—at Harvard

Winter exhibits at Houghton Library   

Parks and Rec Comedy Writer Aisha Muharrar Gets Serious about Grief

With Loved One, the Harvard grad and Lampoon veteran makes her debut as a novelist.

Most popular

What Trump Means for John Roberts’s Legacy

Executive power is on the docket at the Supreme Court.

Harvard’s Class of 2029 Reflects Shifts in Racial Makeup After Affirmative Action Ends

International students continue to enroll amid political uncertainty; mandatory SATs lead to a drop in applications.

The Harvard Professor Who Quantified Democracy

Erica Chenoweth’s data shows how—and when—authoritarians fall.

Explore More From Current Issue

Wadsworth House with green shutters and red brick chimneys, surrounded by trees and other buildings.

Wadsworth House Nears 300

The building is a microcosm of Harvard’s history—and the history of the United States.

An illustrative portrait of Justice Roberts in a black robe, resting his chin on his hand.

What Trump Means for John Roberts’s Legacy

Executive power is on the docket at the Supreme Court.

Aisha Muharrar with shoulder-length hair, wearing a green blazer and white shirt.

Parks and Rec Comedy Writer Aisha Muharrar Gets Serious about Grief

With Loved One, the Harvard grad and Lampoon veteran makes her debut as a novelist.